Porcelain Helmet – Porcelain Helmet (2018) REVIEW

There isn’t a more admirable way to fuck right off out of high school hell into the hapless world of terror and greed then as an angry millennial thrash band making a halfway-serious, referential full-length. Porcelain Helmet have done just that with their independently released self-titled debut and though their performances are green and their style is cobbled together from their favorite snippets of classic thrash, that is basically what most third tier thrash bands did from ’84-’90 anyhow. These Woodstock, New York based young’uns more or less resemble a non-drunk Tankard or similar party thrasher borrowing from modern and old school thrash metal for inspiration but not yet ready, or serious enough to completely convey their own personality through their playing.

Kicking off with the Municipal Waste-esque “Porcelain Helmet” a vague translation of crossover thrash makes a decent first impression with guitar playing on time, solos performed by a fellow who has had at least had a few lessons, and the rough vocals give a decent sense of personality. The lyrics of “Purple Crayon” remind me of the goofin’ you’d get from early 90’s alternative rock but the music is a mix of Sodom influenced riffs and the first hint of Megadeth championed lead work. From there “Slaughterhouse V” reveals what I think is the general intent of the release, to make a party thrash album with nods to classic thrash. The main riff progressions are almost directly taken from ‘Tornado of Souls’ but the group-shouted vocals give it an M.O.D. sort of feeling.

Referential goofer thrashcore isn’t really my thing at all since I was Porcelain Helmet‘s age but this thing holds up pretty well through the fifth track or so. I like that it reminds me of some middle ground between Wehrmacht/Spazztic Blurr and modern groups like Game Over. The production and performances are too tight and just clean enough to avoid looking at this release as a demo, but as an EP I think this project is off to an impressive start. There are nowhere near enough thrash releases busting out in 2018 and I’ll scrape every corner of the damn internet to find the decent ones if I have to. If you’re not too old, too cold to put up with some high schooler thrash metal Porcelain Helmet‘s first is a good time. I recommend starting with “Goliath and Goliath” and the title track for a first impression.


Artist Porcelain Helmet
Type Album
Released January 26th, 2018

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Thrash Metal

Grazing in the field. 3.0/5.0


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